Back in TO
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)

4:30 am back in TO. Jet lag in full effect right now and I'm watching some youtube videos to pass the time. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to do this. Travelling back and forth between continents for work. If I hear another person say, "you're so lucky to get to travel to exotic places for work!" I'll punch them in the mouth. I know I always have the choice to quit but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. People tend to set a standard for themselves and then they're unwilling to fall back from that standard. You never want to take a step back in anything you're doing. You're either in it to win it, or you fall to the back of the pack. That's the way I feel about my career. It's not that want or need to make more money. It's that I don't want to fall back to where I started. Seeing my friends all graduate and head off to work, while I struggled to find a job was one of the worst times in my life. It's probably this fear of going back there that keeps me going. I hope one day I can overcome that fear and walk away happy with what I've done in my life.